Change
by Maureen3
Summary: Remember how Xena & Callisto switched bodies? Well now it's time for some different body switching.


Title: Change

Author: Maureen, the Greek Amazon

Disclaimer: Story's mine, characters aren't -- They just frolic about in my brain.

Violence: It's a Xena story!!! What do you think?

Feedback: I like feedback. It is good. Send it to me at greek_amazon@yahoo.com

Summary: Remember how Xena & Callisto switched bodies? Well now it's time for some different body switching.

Authors notes: An explanatory sequence of events between "Chakram" and "Succession." The opening's kind of poor. Sorry. Also, do they have muskrats in Greece?

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Gabrielle watched as Joxer slept. He loved her. This was just too weird. Joxer turned on his bearskin bed and Gabrielle couldn't suppress a little grin. He looked so happy when he was asleep. Joxer was her friend. That was all. Despite what he said, she knew he did want something from her. Gabrielle sighed and pulled her bearskin closer around her. It had gradually been getting colder as they traveled. Maybe it was time to think about buying a coat. Xena and Amarice could probably use one too. Joxer shifted again and his angelic expression seemed to change. On Gabrielle's other side Xena rose, her chakram at the ready.

"Xena? What is it?" Xena's eyes darted back and forth as though she was looking for something.

"Nothing, I guess. You should get some sleep Gabrielle."

"Yeah, yeah, that sounds good." Gabrielle laid back down and tried to sleep. Xena did the same, but continued to clutch her chakram.

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"Wake. Up." Ares slowly opened his eyes to find his chosen warrioress towering above him.

"That's better," she noted when his eyes opened. He grinned his little Ares grin.

"Well Xena, waking up to you is always a nice surprise." Her foot collided with the side of his head, as he realized that it wasn't his voice that had spoken. Slowly, he glanced down at his attire and body. He raised his eyebrows.

"Well, this is an interesting twist of fate."

"What are you talking about, Joxer?"

"Don't play dumb, Xena. I know you can sense me." Her eyes narrowed and her scowl deepened.

"Ares." He grinned

"Yeah, it's me."

"What are you doing in Joxer's body?" He laughed.

"I wish I knew," Ares rose from the ground in a very un-Joxer-like way. "But we have to fix it. I can only imagine what that klutz is doing with my body right now."

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Joxer opened his eyes. And blinked. He looked around him. This was not where he had gone to sleep, he was sure of it. For one thing, this was a room. A poorly lit room at that.

"Gabrielle? Xena?" There was no answer. "Amarice?" He looked about the room in fear. What horrible fate waited here for him? He lifted his muscular, gauntleted arm to his forehead.

"I'm doomed. Even Joxer the Mighty can't---" waitaminute. Muscular, gauntleted arm? He spread out his arms in front of him. Yup, muscular and gauntleted. He scanned the rest of his body. He wore black leather from head to toe and a sword hung at his waist. He jumped up and collided with a table.

"Ow! Oh! Need mirror." He spun around sending several objects on the table clattering to the floor. After much clanging and banging Joxer found a mirror. He stared into it, only to be greeted by the God of War. He ran his hand over his face and realized that it was Ares' face. Gods, this was bad. What would Gabrielle think? At the thought of Gabrielle, the mirror rippled to show the bard in the marketplace with Amarice. She seemed to be arguing with the red-haired Amazon about the price of a coat or something. Joxer was fascinated by the mirror.

"Cool..." Then it occurred to him that Ares could use this mirror to watch them, or more to the point, Xena, whenever he wanted.

"Yuk." Maybe he should see what Ares was doing.

"Um... Show me Ares." The image rippled and he was again greeted with a reflection of the body he was in now.

"Oh, right. Uh, show me Joxer." The mirror again rippled and he saw himself, or at least his body, talking to Xena. Both appeared troubled, and Joxer figured that Ares had told Xena, but Gabby and Amarice didn't know about this dilemma just yet.

"I should go tell them," But Joxer didn't really relish the idea of Amarice. Zeus, that amazon was cocky. Right. If he could just talk to Gabrielle alone... Ok, just get rid of Amarice and then tell Gabrielle. That would work. Now, if he could just get Ares' body to take him there. How exactly did that transporty thing work?

"Um..." he raised his hands in exasperation.

"Take me to Gabrielle," he commanded 'his' body. There was a blue-white light and Joxer vanished from the room.

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"Xena, we can't just sit around and wait. That nitwit has hold of my body, and I do have a reputation to maintain."

"Gods aren't easy to find, Ares. Once he's discovered what's wrong, he'll come to us or Gabrielle, Ok? Until then, waiting is all we can do. In the meantime, let's find a tavern and eat something." Ares stared at her in disbelief.

"Joxer's body is probably getting hungry."

"Alright Xena, but I refuse to stay in this body any longer than I have to." 

Once Xena and Ares reached a tavern, Xena ordered chicken for the both of them.

"Listen Ares," she said sternly once the barmaid had departed. "Joxer doesn't need any enemies, so don't start any fights, ok?

"Alright," grumbled Ares, who would be content with simply getting his own body back.

"Now, Ares, do you have any idea --" began Xena, but stopped when she saw that Ares' attention was focused elsewhere. At first thinking that it was probably something stupid, but then remembering that this was Ares, and not Joxer, Xena glanced at him for an explanation. 

"How many Joxers are there?" he asked.

"What?" said Xena, spinning around to see what Ares was seeing; a leather-clad copy of Joxer.

"Ares, hide your face. That's Joxer's brother, Jett."

"Black leather just doesn't belong on him. It belongs on me." Xena raised an eyebrow.

"On my body." Xena did not lower her eyebrow.

"Admit it, Xena. You like the leather."

"And if I do?" Ares smirked.

"Thought so."

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Joxer the mighty," came a voice from behind them.

"Jett," said Xena, an evil grin plastered on her face. "Remember me?"

"Yes, but I'm here to talk to my brother." He strode past Xena, towards Ares.

"See that talking is all you do, or you'll be paying a visit to Hades," Xena promised.

"Still need her protection, I see." Ares decided to keep his cool. After all, Joxer did need Xena's protection. He forced a smile and a nod. "Now me, I've been doing something with my life," he continued. "I command an army. From assassin to warlord."

"So what?" asked Xena, trying to draw the conversation away from Ares. "You're not the only one who has. And Joxer has taken out an entire army, single-handedly, and he didn't even have to lift his sword." She wasn't lying; Joxer had taken out an entire army with his cooking alone.

"Well Xena, I hear you are still, though I don't know how, the War God's chosen." Xena glanced quickly to Ares who nodded.

"Yes, that's right. What's it to ya?"

"Yes, Jett, Xena's a very skilled warrior," _among other things,_ Ares' mind finished.

"You'd just think that Ares might be smart enough to pick someone who fights on his side."

"Someone like... you?" concluded Xena. "Jealous?" Meanwhile, Ares felt it was about time for him to intercede.

"You would never be a skilled enough warrior, dear brother, to be Ares' chosen."

"Oh really Joxer? And how would you know? Ares would be groveling at my feet. I'm that bad."

"I don't think so," said Ares through clenched teeth before sending Jett hurtling across the tavern.

"Oh, little brother's got a backbone now, does he?" commented Jett as he rose, wiping the blood from his mouth.

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_Wow! It worked!_ was Joxer's first thought when he materialized in the marketplace. His second thought was _Shouldn't there be some kind of ground beneath me?_ Joxer fell through a shop and he was covered in coats.

"Are you alright?" came Gabrielle's voice as her hand found his and pulled him out from under the pile of coats.

"Yeah, I'm fine." When Gabrielle saw his face, she snatched back her hand like it had been burned.

"_Ares_," she hissed. Amarice stood behind her in a battle ready position.

"What? Oh, yeah, the body." Joxer put aside his dislike for Amarice and decided that he would have to tell now or never. "It's me, Joxer."

"Look Ares, I don't know what you're trying to pull here, but --"

"No, really, Gabrielle. It's me. I can prove it. We just need to find Xena and Ares."

"You're Ares," snapped Amarice.

"No, Amarice, I--"

"I can't believe what a sick bastard you are," she continued. "To use Xena to get what you want. It was sickening seeing Xena all innocent like that. You'd think that as God of War you might--"

"Amarice -- Gabrielle, tell her,"

"Ares, I suggest you leave. Now." Joxer had never thought he would see hatred in Gabrielle's eyes, but he was now and it was all directed towards him. No, not him, Ares. Not Joxer. There was only one way to prove to Gabrielle that he was who he claimed.

"I love you," he said. This had to work -- Otherwise she's think that Ares was in love with her. Slowly, her expression changed.

"Joxer?" He smiled and nodded. "But how -- what? I--"

"I don't know either," Joxer admitted.

"Ok, well we need to find Xena."

"Yeah, I can do that. Check this out." Then, addressing 'his' body "Take us to Xena." In three simultaneous flashes they were gone from the marketplace, only to appear two feet above a table. Gravity kicked in.

"OW! Joxer!"

"Sorry, still... Working on that re-entry." The trio stood up and saw before them the barfight to end all barfights.

"Yep, Xena's in here somewhere," commented Amarice.

"Not to mention Ares," added Gabrielle as a very drunk man flew into the wall behind them.

"So, I guess Xena's that way," Joxer said, indicating the direction in which the drunk fellow had flown from. The three of them made their way to the centre of the tavern. 'Joxer' was apparently beating 'Joxer' to death.

"Ares. And Jett," Joxer stated, exasperation in his voice.

"Gabrielle!" came Xena's voice "Good, you guys are here," she ran to greet them. Xena grabbed a rather inept looking who tried to stab Ares in the back by his collar, and flung him against a wall. "Those guys are Jett's minions. They're trying to save Jett by killing Ares. Much as I'd like to see that, it's Joxer's body, so--"

"We're on it," said Amarice, taking out the nearest minion. The three women continued their crusade to deck the minions flat, leaving Joxer standing around in Ares' body.

"Ok um..." he pursed his lips. "I've seen Ares do this," he watched cautiously as a large ball of energy formed in his palm.

"Ok, got it!" he cried triumphantly. "Now, just throw it." The ball missed it's intended target, instead choosing to bounce off walls, knocking out many-a-minion. He dropped to the floor as it flew over his head, clattered about some more and then dissipated. Joxer rose to see his three friends take out the last of the minions and then run towards Ares and Jett.

"Alright! Both of you!" yelled Xena, pulling them apart. They scowled, but Xena gave them both a warning glance.

"We're going to leave now, Jett. I catch one, ONE, of your minions on our tail and I'll kill you personally. Understand?" Jett nodded slowly. Xena grinned.

"Good." Xena watched as Jett turned his battered face towards Joxer.

"Ares!" he exclaimed and dropped to his knees. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean -- I'm but a humble warrior in your service. I meant none of my words. I'm sorry." Joxer looked down at his brother. He felt kinda sorry for him.

"Oh, it's ok Jett," he started kindly but then caught Ares glaring at him with a murderous glint in his eye. Joxer pursed his lips "But, uh, if you do it again, I'll, uh, smite you!" he smiled and gave a thumbs up to Ares who now looked both murderous and embarrassed. Joxer continued. "For I am Ares, the mighty God of War!" He unsheathed his sword for effect, but lost his grip and it clattered to the floor.

"Uh, I'll just pick that up." He bent down and resheathed his sword. Joxer risked a glance at Ares. Joxer would never have thought that his own face could look that deadly.

"Uh, we'll just," he gestured his hand back and forth, trying to indicate 'leave' as he, Xena, Gabrielle, Amarice and Ares vanished in a blue-white light, leaving Jett cowering on the floor in the tavern.

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After tempers had cooled and fights had been prevented, the five sat around a campfire.

"Ares, Come on," Gabrielle pressed "You've got to have some idea how this could have happened."

"No Gabrielle, I don't."

"Well there must be some reason..."

"Maybe you offended someone," Amarice chimed in.

"I offend _a lot_ of people,"

"Alright, sorry."

"Gabrielle began again "But who would have the power--"

"We have been over at least twenty times," interrupted Ares. "_I don't know._ Xena, give me a hand here." Xena looked skeptical, but obliged.

"He's right. We won't get anything out of him tonight. We need a fresh start and we could all use some sleep."

Once Ares was confident that everyone was asleep, he walked over to where Xena was sleeping and tapped her on the shoulder. He could help but notice how beautiful she was. Xena's eyes flew open and she seized him by the throat. The murderous rage in her eyes was pure perfection.

"What do you want?" she squeezed his throat. Ares clawed at her hand, being unaccustomed to pain.

"Air," he gasped. Xena released his throat. He sucked in air before looking back at the warrior princess, who was watching him closely. This wasn't an easy thing for him. Before he could say the words, he felt his gut wrench and twist within. And of course, he felt the pang of *something* stir that he always felt when he was near Xena. Tartarus, who was he kidding? He felt that pang whenever he even thought of her. But he brought his mind back to the task at hand. Xena was looking at him skeptically, her eyes telling him that she was not amused.

"I'm sorry," he choked out.

"Yeah, well I'm not too happy you woke me up either. What did you want to say?"

"Damn it, Xena!" He grasped her arm tightly, wishing for the strength of his true form. "I'm sorry!" He yelled, willing her to understand, to acknowledge what he was saying. Xena's lips curled into the beginnings of a cruel smile. She knew how hard this was for him. She liked it -- he deserves this torture. She looked coldly into Joxer's eyes, seeing Ares there and felt the hollow pang she always felt around him. For an instant, every fibre of her being told her to accept his apology and give into longing, but the desire was crushed.

"Sorry for what?" she continued with the cruel charade. Ares flung her arm away from his grasp and leveled his fiery eyes at her.

"For what happened in India! For not saving you from crucifixion! For everything, damn it!" He turned his gaze away, not wanting to see the mockery, or worse yet, hatred, in Xena's eyes. Xena knew she had pushed him. Maybe too far. Again, desire flowed through her. It didn't even matter that it was Joxer's body. She wanted _Ares_. But she'd face all Hell armed only with a dead muskrat before she let him know it. She was glad he had turned his eyes away, else he would have seen the flicker of passion that would have given her away. She grinned.

"You always said you'd keep my life interesting." Ares chuckled in response. "And," she continued, "You're still holding up your end of the bargain."

"What?" he asked, surprised. She gestured at his current body. In response, Ares raised his eyebrows.

"I'm sorry," he said again. "I just wanted you to know."

Ares looked back at Xena. At that moment, neither wanted to do anything else than take the other right there and then, regardless of physical form or who might be watching. The moment broke when a single thought entered Ares' head. Well, besides all the thoughts of Xena.

"Hecate," he uttered.

"What...?" asked Xena, both disappointed and grateful for being brought out of her fantasy.

"Hecate," he said again, this time more focused.

"What about her?"

"I ran over a temple of hers in Panormus. Killed one of her priestess's"

"Ran over?" inquired Xena, eyebrow arched.

"One of my less promising warlords siced his army on the whole town. Fool." The thought of what Ares would do to that particular warlord made Xena smile as her darker side creeped up for a breath of fresh air. Xena banished the thought and brought herself back to the conversation.

"And you think she did this to you?"

"I know she did this to me. Hecate!" he called skyward. "HECATE!" A mirthful, twinkling laugh sounded through the night air.

"No, no, Ares. You need to learn some humil-it-ty..." the wind sang.

"HECATE!" Ares called again, though he knew it was useless. Xena rose and placed her hands on his shoulders.

"We'll finish this tomorrow," she promised, a sinister edge ringing through in her voice. Because Joxer's body was shorter than hers, she used this opportunity to turn the tables of seduction on Ares. She leaned forward, so that her mouth brushed against his ear. "We'll win. I promise." She backed away from Ares and laid down on her bearskin bed. Ares turned and grinned at Xena before returning to his own bed.

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"Hecate?" asked Gabrielle, chewing on her portion of fish.

"Isn't she the Goddess of witchcraft?" asked Amarice, poking distastefully at her own helping of fish.

"That's right," commented Xena, stealing the uneaten fish from Amarice.

"Hey! I was going to eat that!" 

"Toph bphad," said Xena through a mouthful of fish.

"What I don't get --" Gabrielle stopped to lick her fingers "Is why she's punishing Joxer. I mean, we know why she's punishing Ares, but why bring Joxer into it?"

"Awww -- Gabby, you do care!" called Joxer.

"Does that body come with sarcasm?" Gabrielle retorted.

"You have to remember Gabrielle, Gods don't care about mortals -- Most of the time. It doesn't even occur to Hecate that she's punishing Joxer." Xena stated, her mouth now freed of fish.

"_Punished?_" asked Ares, eyebrows raised. "Hardly. He gains God powers,..." Ares paused. "...Good looks..."

"Hey!"

"There's nothing wrong with the way Joxer looks," Gabrielle said before she could stop herself. Her face went bright red as she realized what she'd said out loud. Joxer's eyes grew wide along with Amarice's and they both turned to stare at the bard. Ares and Xena wore identical smirks for about two seconds, before they refocused their attention on the more pressing issue.

"Where to, Ares?"

"Hecate's nearest temple. In Selymbria." 

"Selymbria...."

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"What I'm saying is, Joxer's cute." Gabrielle tried desperately to reclaim her dignity. "I'm not saying _I _find him cute--"

"Uh-huh, sure Gabby," Joxer replied. Amarice's eyes said the same thing.

"Xena!" Gabrielle called forward, hoping to change the subject. "How long until we reach Selymbria?"

"An hour, give or take," responded Xena staring straight ahead. She grinned and turned on Argo to face the warrior bard.

"So, when did you come to the conclusion that Joxer was cute, Gabrielle?"

"AUGH! Not you too!"

"Xena, can we stop?" asked Ares from beside Xena. "I don't do a lot of walking." Xena corrected her position on Argo.

"Getting tired, Ares?" she mocked, but grabbed his hand and pulled him up onto Argo with her.

"Hold on to me."

"Now there's a request I'd be happy to grant anytime," he commented as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Heeheehee Xena. Looks like you're having fun," commented Gabrielle, drawing the conversation away from herself. "I can just see what my scroll will say; Xena had Ares RIGHT where she wanted him -- And boy did she want--"

"That's enough, Gabrielle," a dangerous edge crept into Xena's voice.

"Oh, I don't know. I thought it was just getting interesting," mused Ares. Xena kicked him in the shin. Hard.

"OW!"

"I. do. not. want. Ares." she lied.

"Oh Xena, I'm hurt."

"I can't take another hour of this," admitted Xena, and snapped hard on the reigns, sending Argo to a gallop.

"Whoa!" exclaimed Ares in surprise and instinctively tightened his grip on Xena.

"Hey! Come back here!" called Joxer, but realized it was pointless and turned to Gabrielle. "So, you really think I'm cute?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!" Xena heard Gabrielle's fading yell over the gallop of Argo's hooves.

"Xena! Slow down!" Xena pulled on the reigns and Argo slowed to a quick trot. She stared straight ahead and didn't say a word.

"Look Xena, I know I find Gabrielle irritating, but you don't. Usually." He grinned. "She strike a nerve or something?"

"Let's just get to Selymbria." Ares raised an eyebrow, but chose not to push the matter further. Instead he chose to place a kiss on the nape of her neck. Xena snapped her head back into Ares', sending him reeling back, off Argo, clutching his forehead in pain. He landed on the ground with a thump.

"I hate being mortal," he commented, rubbing his forehead and lower back as head stood. From up on Argo, Xena grinned at him.

"Think you can control yourself, Ares?"

"No problem," he said darkly as he reclaimed his place on Argo.

"You might want to hang on," Xena instructed as she sent Argo to a gallop yet again. Ares was starting to affect her. Again. The sooner he went away, the better.

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The two dismounted outside Hecate's temple. Neither spoke a word as Xena tied Argo to a post.

"Let's get this done,'

"Agreed." Xena pushed open the double doors and light spewed into the temple. Ares stormed inside, while Xena stalked calmly in behind him.

"Alright, Hecate! I'm here! Show yourself!" A silvery light shone, revealing a dark-haired goddess in her throne.

"About time, too."

"I want my body back, Hecate." Hecate made a mocking pout in his direction, before laughing aloud.

"I mean it, Hecate."

"Bow to me."

"What?"

"Bow," she commanded.

"I am the GOD of WAR! I _bow_ to no one!" Hecate looked at him, hand holding her chin, seeming to contemplate for a time. Xena watched the Goddess, waiting to see what she would do. Hecate smiled.

"Very well. If you won't bow, then you will clean this temple until it sparkles."

"Clean?" he asked, then shrugged. "I guess it could be worse."

"...Using this," Hecate continued, handing him the kind of brush that's used for cleaning horses. Ares took the brush and stared at it, his rage growing.

"Ta-ta!" and with that, Hecate was gone. Ares turned to Xena.

"Xena, if you could lend me a hand..." Xena backed away, hands in a defensive position.

"Oh, no. I don't clean. You dug your own grave, Ares." At that instant, Gabrielle, Joxer and Amarice stepped into the temple. Ares turned, brush in hand.

"GET OUT!" he yelled at them. Instinctively, the trio jumped back from the glowering God.

"What was that about?" asked Joxer. Ares' glare darkened.

"You were tracking mud."

"Well Ares," said Xena smiling. "looks like got a long day ahead of you. We'll just leave you to it." She headed for the door.

"No, Xena, don't leave me here," Xena continued through the temple doors.

"No, no! XEEEEEEEEENNNNAAAAAAAA!!!!!" Ares' cry was silenced as Xena closed the temple doors and left him to his torture.

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Night had fallen, and they had made themselves comfortable in a tavern.

"Think he's done cleaning the temple yet?" asked Amarice. Xena raised an eyebrow.

"Nah," they all laughed and ordered another round.

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Ares stopped scrubbing and looked around him. Not a speck of dust to be seen. The temple was spotless. Despite himself, he was proud of his accomplishment. --But he wouldn't do it again. Not for all the ambrosia this side of India. He stood slowly, coming to terms with an ache in his lower back.

"Hecate!" he called. Hecate appeared in a silvery flash in front of him. She surveyed the room.

"Impressive," she grinned. Ares was not in the mood for games.

"I want my body back." Hecate's smile faded.

"Impatient, aren't we?" she waved her hand. "Very well. But if this ever happens again, I will not be so forgiving," she promised darkly.

"Neither will I." Their eyes locked, hatred flicking between them, before Hecate broke the stalemate, a smile stretched from ear to ear. In one hand formed a silvery orb.

"Hold still," she commanded Ares, winding up for the pitch.

"What are you--" the orb flew from Hecate's hand and hit Ares squarely in the chest.

"--doing...?" he finished. He was at a table, ale in hand with Xena, Gabrielle and Amarice. He brought his hands to his chest and face. He grinned.

"I'm back. It is sooo good to be a God."

"Hello Ares," said Xena, apparently unfazed by the body switch.

"So Joxer's in the temple?" asked Gabrielle.

"I'd assume so," he replied, kicking his legs up on the table.

"You couldn't have switched at a better time, Ares," commented Amarice.

"Oh, why's that?"

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"--I'm Joxer! I'm Joxer the mighty!!" Joxer finished his song and looked around.

"Hey! Where am I?" He looked down at his attire. Understanding came. He was back in his, as Gabby put it, 'cute' body.

"oooohhhhh.... the temple..." As he began to move, he became aware of many things -- his back was sore and he had a bruise on the front of his head.

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It had been a day since Joxer and Ares had been returned to their proper bodies, and Xena and friends were on the move again.

"Xena, how 'bout we stop here for the night?" asked Joxer.

"Perfect. You guys get camp ready, I'll get something to eat," Xena said, dismounting. She stalked off into the forest, prepared to catch a rabbit or two. Once she was deeper into the woods, she felt him.

"Come on out, Ares." Ares appeared smiling.

"I still don't know how you do that."

"What do you want, Ares?" He stepped behind her and brought his lips to her ear.

"To finish something we started," he trailed off as Xena inhaled sharply. She knew what he was talking about.

"And what's that?" she asked coldly, turning to face him. He seized her lips with his own and it took Xena every drop of self control that she possessed not to return the kiss, not to take him here and now. She remained motionless and Ares broke the kiss. She forced her eyes to show nothing. Ares just smiled down at her and vanished. After he was gone, Xena licked her lips and her body shuddered pleasurably of its own accord. She closed her eyes and tried to shut out all images of Ares, so she could concentrate on dinner.

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Ares appeared in his den at mount Olympus. He lifted the nearest table and flung it against the wall so that it, and everything on it, smashed to pieces. 

"ARR!" He threw a stray dagger so far into the wall that it would be imbedded there permanently. To be with Xena for so long without... release... was unbearable. He needed a diversion. Some little hothead who would take his mind off Xena. To him it sounded like as good a plan as any.

Ares materialized on the battlefield in front of her.

"Hello, Mavican."

~The End~


End file.
